For the next few issues of T+P we’re diving into conversations, trust building, and negotiations. We’ll begin this week with general conversation tips that are crucial for first impressions and building long-term connections.

Body Posture 👤

• Flooding Smile - Slowly expand your smile to flood your face, instead of having no smile or an instantaneous one.

• Sticky Eyes - Don’t aggressively stare, but stay connected. When you look off to the side to recall information or pivot your body come right back to being connected with your eyes.

• Audience of 1 - Your body should communicate that you are focused on them exclusively. If you’re meeting a group of people all at once, do what you can to “rotate the focus” so everyone feels like they are getting that special attention.

Conversation Content 🗣️

• Use Names - Acquire their name and echo it while giving a friendly handshake. Then seek to use their name when possible so that you remember it better and it produces more connection.

• Be Interested Rather than Interesting - Ask people questions, and keep them talking about what they are interested in with connected questions.

• Add Tidbits - This can be comments, opinions, tiny responses that match with the conversation. They provide latching points for further conversation and help the perception of connection.

• Use “We” - When appropriate, help the other person feel connected to your context, even assuming positive “we” connections.

Retain Connection 📶

• Keep Notes - Name, and key details can be documented in a single space on your phone so that you can be prepared for the next time you see them.

• Old Friends - The next time conversation starts the person should feel like you are an old friend.

  • Greet positively by name (Ex: “Sam how are you!?”)

  • Ask them a detail that you were able to recall from last time (Ex: “How did that *specific project* turn out that you were finishing?”)

• Echo the Emotion - Even if the subject matter is sad, echoing the emotion with facial expressions and questions/statements will create further connection.

🌟 TOP PICKS

These tips were compiled via personal experience and by reading a series of books. All of my notes have been sorted according to type, mixed in with my experience… so I don’t exactly know which notes came from which resource. But I do know that I enjoyed the tips that came from each of these reads 😄 

How to Talk to Anyone - General Tips for any Conversation
How to Win Friends and Influence People - General Tips for Conversation and Leadership
Never Split the Difference - Negotiation
Getting to Yes - Negotiation

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In all toil there is profit, but mere talk tends only to poverty - Proverbs 14:23